A Headless Tale
by EderNimrais
Summary: With the supposed scariest holiday nearing on the Halkeginia calendar, Saito obviously has to celebrate it the only way it can be. Only problem is... when you mix horror and magic together, bad things surely follow. For Saito's case, a totally perspective as a partial rip-off of one of the legendary figures of the holiday. Happy Halloween!


Louise walked down the constant stream of halls and rooms that made up just one level of the tower she lived in. Having to stay over to a mishap in her final class of the day, she was not in the most pleasant of moods to say the very least. In fact, her whipping arm was beginning to grow weaker, as is evidence by a certain familiar being able to walk after the discipline was complete. The noble felt a chill run down her spine when she found her room within reach. Touching the doorknob, she heard a voice speaking inside. Looking at one of the window, she found that it was indeed night time.

"_Who would have ever imagined that painting would be such a difficult task without a source to work with?"_

Louise heard on the other side from likely her familiar. What bother her was the not only that she could not see what he was doing, but what paint would have to do with it. Sighing, she calmly opened the down to find Saito sitting on the floor with a mask in his left hand and a paint brush on the other. The two shared a brief moment of silence was Saito did not know how to react to Louise seeing him paint. Her eyes focused on the mask which looked completely weird.

"What is that? It looks ridiculous." Louise said, pointing at the half painted mask in Saito's hand.

Saito placed the brush on a paper surface to keep it from touching the floor and gave Louise a confused look. "It's Scream!" He answered, enthusiasm in his voice. The answer did not faze Louise at all; if anything, it made her question Saito's sanity. "Come on, it's Ghostface's mask! You know, kids walking around on Halloween and scaring the candy out of the other kids?"

"Halloween?" Louise asked, never hearing of the word that came from Saito's lips.

The familiar finally understood the utter lack of understanding on Louise's part as he remember that Halkeginia and Earth are separate places; those, having two different themes of what makes a holiday. Saito asked if Louise has ever heard that word in her life as she made her way o a chair to sit on. She shook her head in response, slightly interested in the reasoning behind Saito's actions.

"Halloween basically is a holiday back on Earth where children dress up as anything and go to houses to get free candy. To be honest, I don't understand how it happened or where it comes from, but I do know that I got fat several times from eating too much candy in one sitting to the days afterwards."

"I see… wait, you said kids. You're a teen."

Saito's face brightened up as a devilish smile popped on his face that Louise sees so much when he is in the act. "And that is where this mask comes in. Teens like myself had a tradition of scaring the older kids who came up to the houses from behind bushes or answering the door dressed as death itself." He explained, smiling at the memories of some of his victims back in the days. "So ya, I am going to do that tomorrow night after all the students are in their rooms."

At first, Louise was about to blow off idea of Saito acting like a child for one night. Then, an idea hit her. _"If I let Saito do this to some of the other girls and scare them senseless, then they will finally leave him alone for a while. That will finally let me rest easy knowing that his is not running around with some woman."_ Louise thought as she looked at the mask in Saito's hand and silently sighed. "_There is no way some piece of plastic that is shaped like some deformed ghost face. I see I will have to step in and solve this problem."_

Saito meanwhile returned his attention back to his handmade mask where in the corner of his eye he saw Louise reaching for her wand on her side. Sweat began to pour from seeing the tool of many misfortunes being reached for. "L-Louse, what are you-" Saito froze when he saw the wooden wand get pointed at his face. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what did I do!?" Saito panicked, rising up to his feet with the mask in hand."

"Hold still, I'm helping." Louise said slowly aiming her wand to the mask.

"I don't want to join Guiche in the infirmary, just put the wand down and-"

"I said hold still!"

Louise's short fuse got the better of her and a blast escaped her wand, directly aimed at Saito's head. The last thing he was a ray of light hit his forehead, followed by a cloud of smoke. Off in the courtyard, Siesta was hanging various piece of clothing when she heard an explosion, followed by smoke leaving a single window of the tower.

As the dust and smoke began to dissipate and the room became more visable, Saito opened his eyes to find the entire room much larger than he last saw it. He commented on his observation when he saw Louise's figure appear in the smoke, waving the smoke from her face. "Hey, what did you do to me this time, Louise?"

Saito asked as Louise opened her eyes in the direction of the voice. He face was facing down to where Saito was stand where she was a face staring at him from below. Louise blinked three times and rubbed her eyes, believing she was seeing things. He eyes did not lie as she looked up and found Saito's body standing where it was last before the explosion. Only… it was missing one vital part.

The victim raised an eyebrow when he felt an itch on her ear. Saito reached for his left ear with his hand but he did not feel anything. He looked to his left and found the floorboard. "Wait…" he said, looking straight down at the newly polish hardfloor and found his face staring at him with his body behind him. "MY HEAD! WHAT THE HELL!?" Saito panicked, looking up and immediately understanding the benefits of having a headless body.

Louise looked down at Saito's head staring at her lower frame, more specifically, her skirt. Seeing what the pervert was doing, she blushed a crimson rose and grabbed the head by the hair with lightning speed, much to the pain of Saito. The room turned dark at Louise's evil intentions as the beautiful eyes he held wished they could kill. A demon-like aura started radiating from her body as Saito was starting to see his end.

"L-Louise, let's stay calm and-" Saito began but Louise tightening her grip on Saito's hair, hurting the man in the process. "Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Saito cried as the down opened to find a maid standing on the other side. The sound of clothing hitting the floorboards could be heard from both parties as Siesta saw Louise hold Saito's crying head and his body leisurely sitting on a chair, polishing Derflinger in all the commotion. The two saw Siesta fall backwards and faint at the sight. Louise looked at Saito's bodyless head and threw it on the bed near the pillow. Saito's face was barried into the sheets as he desperately tried to roll to a side. He felt his hair get softly grabbed, followed by being moved to a pillow, directly facing Louise.

"Umm…" Saito murmured, not wanting to incur the wrath of Louise, his master, whip specialist and many other things, just to name a few.

"This is perfect. You will scare every girl we know into the same act we just preformed on Siesta." Louise said, seeing Saito's face give off a confused expression. "And if you say no…" Louise moved next to the headless body and kick it in the stomach.

"Ahhh! How the heck do I feel that!? This makes no sense!" Saito cried out in pain.

"Then I will continue to punish you throughout the night until you submit to it."

"Fine, fine, just leave this innocent soul alone!" Saito begged, not able to dodge what would normally be easy moves from his master.

"Good. Well," Louise said and waved her right hand back to close the down by magical means, leaving a fainted Siesta to the hands of fate. "Get some rest, we begin early in the morning since I do not have class." Louise said and walked into the changing room.

Saito looked at his body and finally realized what is going on. "I am the headless horseman… or rather… familiar, Gandalfr? Whatever… how am I supposed to fall asleep like this?"

* * *

><p>Sunlight beamed down on the head of Saito who reached for his eyes to rub the sand away, only to remember that he do not have them under his control anymore. He rolled his head to the right and found Louise sipping on a cup of tea while his body was giving her a beauty sections. Louise looked over at a very disgruntle head and commented, saying that she very much likes the new Saito and wouldn't mind keeping it this way. This was quickly followed by the body pouring her another glass of tea like a good servant which resulted at Saito barking at himself to stop being a slave.<p>

The shouting fell deaf and non-existing ears when Louise rose up from her seat and began putting her shoes on. The body stood off in the side, as if waiting for the next order to come from his superior. "Now we begin, bring me the list, Body." Louise asked, signaling the moving piece of meat was called Body now. Saito rolled his eyes as Body quickly moved to a cabinet where a long list sat and gave it to Louise, bowing before handing the sheet. "First on the list is Tiffania, then-"

"We can't scare her; she is too innocent for us to pull a prank on." Saito told, not realizing that Louise was not paying attention to his protest.

"Then we have Tabitha, and followed by-"

* * *

><p>The only elven lady in the academy sat alone on the edge of the table, waiting for her breakfast to be delivered. Tiffania had heard the rumors about something dreadful happening to Saito's head so she decided that after eating, she would pay a visit to their room to see if the rumors were true. Thankfully for her and the rest of the students, classes were canceled for today which meant everyone was left to their own devices.<p>

"Here you go, Tiffania." Siesta said, placing a plate with a dome cover on the table in front of her.

"Thank you very much, Siesta, would you like a bite with me?" Tiffania asked, getting told by the human that she had other dishes to deliver before she can have a break.

Siesta moved her left hand on the handle at the top of the dome and lifted it up to reveal the delicious food before her. One glance resulted in Siesta screaming her lungs in sheer horror of the sight before her, followed once more with the poor lady fainting from it. Tiffania looked down and saw the head of Saito Hiraga staring at her with half an eaten apple and him chewing on a bit he just ate from.

"Hmm… hi." Saito said with a mouth full of apple. All heads turned to see the sight with a fainted maid and a half-elf with a shocked expression upon her face. "Would you mind if I have the rest of this apple?" He asked, getting a slowed nod. She smiled and took a large bit into the apple and stared bouncing away from the plate and into the hallway.

"What…?" Tiffania asked, nearly crying at what just happened.

Meanwhile in the hallway, Louise was snickering a storm far from every soul's sight. Body was right next to her, standing perfectly still with a paperbag on his head to keep any eyes from looking back at it's headless body. When Saito hopped next to Louise and Body, he threw the apple up in the air and took a big gulp of the remaining bit. Saito said one of the pluses of not having a body is that he can eat whatever he wants without feeling full. Louise pointed at Saito's head and Body softly grabbed him and held the head with both hands.

Louise pulled out the sheet and looked at the next victim to befall her wrath. "Tabitha is out of the school so I cant scare her. Montmorency doesn't care about Saito so she's out so that means we go directly to the main event."

"Which is?"

"Kirche…" Louise said, Saito seeing the joy on Louise's face of what is about to happen to the mistress of fire. "Too long has that witch outshined me. No more!"

"And outsized." Saito muttered, soft enough to where Louise could not hear what he said. "Say, I have an idea. Do we have pumpkins in this world?"

"Well duh, why?"

"Summon one; I want to see if it stays on Body's head." Saito said and saw Louise form a teleportation circle in the air and out came a pumpkin with carvings already on it. "Perfect, put it on his head."

"Why do I have to do it?" Louise barked.

"Well obviously I can't because I don't have arms."

The two continued to argue until they heard a hand grab the orange vegetable. Louise looked at Saito and Body while Saito looked up and saw Body placing the object on his head. Suddenly, the face the vegetable had begun to move, follow by Saito falling to the floor face first. Rolling next to Louise, Saito watched as the pumpkin head began to move on it's own, much to both party's surprises.

"At last, I may see my mistress' face. And I must say, you are the fairest maiden of the lands, near and far." Saito's jaw hit the floor at hearing the pumpkin talk to Louise in such a manner. Louise blushed at hearing such word come from the pumpkin head body of Saito. "And you." Body said, pointing at Saito."

"What?"

"You have caused much strain on our pour madam's heart and soul long enough. For that, I shall dispose of you!"

"Wait what!?" Saito shouted in shock. Body grabbed Saito's head by the hair, causing great pain on him. "Let me go, that's my body you stole, give it back!"

"Begone!"

Body opened a window and launched Saito's head into the gardens that were in the academy. Louise heard the screams come from Saito's head as the window was softly shut closed. Saito hit the dirt hard enough to where he was knocked out from the landing. He tastes the ground before him and found that the dirt was just used for planting. Sighing, the last thought he had was how the hell he was going to get his body back for some imposter that had a fabulous body.

Later on that turned day into night, Saito woke up to find a garden snake staring at him with interest. Surprise hit him but he remained calm and began rolling his way out of the garden, only to find the largest fence his down to earth eyes have ever seen. He looked behind him and found the snake following him but did not show any signs of hostility. Remembering that he can bounce by some matter, Saito launched himself over the fence and waited to see it the snake would follow. After thirty seconds of absolutely nothing, he turned to find green and yellow in front of him holding a basket of flowers.

"S-Saito? Is that really you?" Tiffania asked, almost afraid to touch his head.

"The one and only. Would you mind picking me up, the ground is awfully cold for some reason." Upon asking, he felt a rush of pain hit him so hard that he cried out in agony. Tiffania fell backwards from the surprises as she watched Saito's head writhe in pain for what seemed like forever.

"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" He exclaimed in pain. Tiffania then saw Saito's eyes widen, follow by tears of pain run down his face. "My… manhood… I know… that feeling anywhere…" He said softly and fall forward to have his frontal face hit the grass. Moans of pain escaped his lips when Tiffania finally picked him up and looked where the neck should be to found it was not cut open or anything in that nature.

She placed Saito's head in the basket of flowers and moved a piece of cloth over to cover him up from the eyes of many. "Saito, what happened?"

"Explosion from yesterday. I separated from my body and now the body itself has a mouth in the form of a jack-o-lantern to use. If I learned anything form that night, then Louise must be beating it DOWN!" Saito shouted the last part, followed my more pain to his groan. "Pain… Tiffa… please hurry to her room… ow…"

Hearing his plea of help, the void witch hurried along from the garden to the tower. Behind her slithered the same garden snake that Saito just met. Reaching the room of one the most famous witches in the country, for better or worse debating on whom you ask, Saito hopped out of the basket and asked for his trusty friend to open the door. Tiffania cautiously opened the door to reveal an extremely flustered mistress being partly restrained by Siesta and a pumpkin head body on its knees in pain. Saito silently thanked himself for having gonads of steel to withstand the punishment.

Both ladies turned to find Saito's head and Tiffania standing in the doorway. "Wait… what's he doing here?" Body said in sheer horror when everyone saw the burning flames in Saito's eyes.

"I don't care what field you were born from, I'm taking my body back, right now!" Saito shouted and lunged forward, his head and teeth lunging towards the source of power

"What manner of-"

It asked as Saito sank his teeth into the pumpkin's outer skin. He ripped pieces of it off with ruthlessness that mirrored someone losing their skin to a sharp claw of a wild animal. The three girls watched in either fear of confusion as Saito finally dug into the inner pumpkin itself and knocked it off from the inside out. The pumpkin rolled outside where Saito popped out of the hole he made and landed next to the snake. Completely ignoring the green reptile, Saito hopped back inside to see the three ladies staring at him. Once again ignoring them, he jumped up where the neck is located on his standing body and locked in place.

Saito quickly moved his hands up to his head to feel it along with the rest of his body. "Yes! I have my body back!" He cheered at his success and turned to the females. "So, Louise, why did I have these sudden urges of pain just a few minutes ago?"

"Your body tried to seduce me! It pinned me on the bed when I hit him in the jaw!" Louise said, not surprising the man.

"What do you expect from a teenage male body that doesn't have any brains?" Saito said, not realizing that this was the last thing he should have said.

Louise walked up and grabbing him by his coat collar with her wand pointed at his forehead. "You knew about this all along!?" She shouted, sparkles beginning to form from the thin end of her wand.

"M-Miss Valliere, please control yourself." Siesta panicked, fearing the mess she and Saito would likely have to clean up is an explosion were to happen.

"I am in perfect control," She turned her head to say to Siesta and returned her attention to Saito where she found she was holding his blue and white jacket. Louise looked to the doorway where she found Saito pulling Siesta and Tiffania out of the room with his jacket removed. "I knew it! You're no better!" She shouted and chased after the escaping trio with venom in her lips. Meanwhile in the doorway where the deceased pumpkin was laid to rest, the garden snake took a bite of pumpkin, only to couch it out and it to come out a pie.


End file.
